whee

so. who wants to do all my schoolwork for me? like, all of it? no reason, I'm just really lazy.

I have to offer:

-a large collection of business cards
-several old books I don't read anymore. you can't have any of the good ones, though.
-a snake. yes, I would miss it. I am rather fond of the creature. but you could borrow it for the rest of the school year.
-half of an eclectic wardrobe. you couldn't have the whole thing, but I could part with some of it.
-a great many half-scribbled poems and stories. claim ownership, make millions.
-lots of coins.
-british coins!
-many Sobe Drive stickers.
-a really cool tea tin. like, seriously.
-the ability to nod and smile. rant incoherantly, weep, wax rhapsodic -- I'll pretend to listen, no matter what!
-copious amounts of sex
-my sister's stuffed animals. no way are you getting mine.
-lots of half-finished cryptic crosswords
-flannel sheets. spring is coming anyway
-nail polish. shiny!
-cds. old cds. cds I am ashamed to own. I dare not even speak their names.
-a lamp or two. I have enough that I could spare them.
-a bed. I can sleep on my rug.
-a lava lamp. damn thing doesn't work well anyway.
-many lists. many many lists.


there you go. can't take them all, obviously, but claim a few and do my mathbiospanishjournalism work and let me vegetate. everybody profits, right? right?